Until The Sun shines Again (*New part 7 & 8 *)
by siberian
Summary: An unexpected tragedy struck after a mission, leaving the boys struggling with the endless waves of emotion and nightmare... review this, onegai??
1. Default Chapter Title

::Until The Sun Shines Again::

::Part1::

Suzuki Miho tugged off her white coat, shoved it unceremoniously in her locker, and then slammed the door shut with a satisfied sigh. It had been a long, stressful shift and all she wanted to do was to go home and sink into a deep, warm bath perhaps maybe with a novel and some beer or wine. With her head formulating this plan, she wandered over to admissions to sign out, signifying that she was officially off duty. With her hand poised above the doctor's log, she heard the words she dreaded.

"Miho? Tomoyuki just called. He's come down with some kind of 'stomach flu'," reported Sasaki Reiko, the formiddable head nurse in ER.

"That's a real shame, Reiko. Be sure to give him my best," she mumbled, intent on getting her name signed so she could leave. But the clipboard was snatched out from under her hand and the older woman fixed her with a no-nonsense glare.

"He's not coming in," Reiko stated. "And Shigure is still in surgery. Looks like you have to come to cover".

"Can't you get someone else?," whined Miho, but Reiko's raised eyebrow told her not to bother. No one would come in and work this graveyard shift at this late notice. Miho saw her dream of relaxing in a hot bath fade away into the sunset. She tried to give it one last shot. "I've just worked all day, Reiko, and I'm not doing the night shift too. I'm not an intern anymore, remember?"

"What do you expect me to do then?" said Reiko in a tone that was annoyingly patronizing. She was the self-proclaimed boss of the emergency room, having worked for the last 25 years. But it still irked Miho how she treated the doctors like inferiors, and expected them to do as they were told.

"Isn't Yuuki still here?"

"I'm not having an intern here without any resident".

Miho sighed and gave up trying to argue. She saw the self-satisfied gleam in the nurse's eyes and knew she was defeated.

"Fine, okay, I'm staying. But I'm going to the doctor's lounge to grab something to eat and then I'm planning to sleep. I don't want to be disturbed except for an all out catastrope. Let Yuuki handle the walk-ins and drunks".

"Yes, doctor," Reiko smiled sarcastically. "I'll be sure to do that".

Miho ignored her mock submission and stomped back to the doctor's lounge, settling for a soda instead of a burgundy. She flopped into an armchair and wondered what the hell she had done to deserve a double shift. Determined to try and forget that she was on duty, she reach for the tv remote control and settled back on her chair. After several minutes, just as she was starting to get comfortable, Sasaki Reiko was at the door.

"We've got an MVA casualty coming in, ambulance is a few minutes out," she reported.

"I'm not supposed to be here, Reiko," she said evenly, eyes still plastered on the tv.

"Suspected SCI. I thought you might want to take it instead of your intern," Reiko snapped her head back and disappeared into the ER.

Miho sighed tiredly again and shut her eyes for a few seconds. There were no time to relax yet, not with a car accident victim coming in. Spinal injuries were the worst. She had a feeling that this was going to be a long night.

* * *

Miho pulled on a fresh coat and a pair of gloves and joined the staffs waiting by the ambulance door. Sasaki Reiko had all of them trained for such emergencies, and all preparations had been made in the exam room to treat a spinal cord injury.

"Have you warned them upstairs?," Miho asked as they waited imptiently, straining to hear the first sound of the sirens that would herald the sign of the approaching ambulance.

"Of course," Reiko answered indulgently. As if she needed reminding of the ER procedures.

Finally they heard the sirens and not long later they saw its flashing lights. The emergency medical technicians pulled open the doors and snapped into attention as the ambulance made its way into the bay. Its back doors flew open and the paramedics were there to ease out the gurney with the prone victim strapped onto it. Miho immediately saw the backboard, neck brace and hand air pump, and looked around for any sign of the other doctor on duty.

The young intern ran up the corridor and panted a breathless apology to the resident, having been in the cafetaria when the call came in.

"Nice of you to join us, Dr. Yuuki," Miho said dismissively as the ambulance officers wheeled in the gurney and began their rundown. "What do we have here?"

"19 year old male, car he was driving was hit side-on with a truck. We have a helluva time getting him out. Blunt chest trauma, suspected SCI, possible broken ribs. BP's down to 70 over 40, pulse 120. Accident happened about one hour ago and he hasn't regained consciousness. Pupils are equal and reactive. Resps 15 and shallow, and there are decreased breath sound, so we start bagging him in the ambulance. Multiple lacerations and abrasions. He's got 20 mg of morphine on site and an IV of normal saline."

By the time the paramedic had completed his report, they were in the exam room, and the ER staff went about their respective duty automatically. They positioned themselves on the either side of the backboard in preparation to move him onto a waiting ER gurney. Miho waited to see that everyone was ready.

"Okay? On my count, people, nice and gently. One…two…three…lift," The transition went smoothly and the staff flew into action once more. Miho had to admit that eventhough Sasaki Reiko was a tyrant, she ran an extremely efficient unit. She gave the boy the once over herself while keeping an eye on the intern who was checking reflexes and the nurse confirming vitals.

"Yuuki?"

"No reflexes".

"Breath sounds are poor. Intubate him and start another line, continue the normal saline".

"BP's still 70 over 40, pulse ox 80".

"Do we have a name?" Miho addressed the paramedics again.

"According to his friend, it's Hidaka Ken".

"Mei, contact his next of kin," Miho said to an EMT. Turning her attention towards the patient, she tried for a response. "Ken? Ken, can you hear me?"

When there was no response, she began firing off rapid instructions to various staff. "Do a cross-table C-spine and get Ryohei down here. Tell him we are looking for a possible cervical-thoraric injury and collapsed lung. Start him on dexamethasone on an IV push and order a CT scan. Do some blood work…CBC, Chem-7, type and cross-match. Start him on some O Neg, we don't know about any internal injuries yet. We'll also need catether…Yuuki?"

"I'm in," the intern reported, having completed the intubation. "GCS is 5"

"Okay, put him on the vent. We expecting any other victim?" she asked the nearest ambulance officer.

"Truck driver's okay, 21 year old passanger in the car has lacs and and a suspected concussion. Toga is bringing him in now. He wouldn't come until we brought this one in first".

"Yuuki, you take him," she said brusquely as the portable X-Ray machine was wheeled forward. As the ER team donned lead vests, she nodded to the paramedics that they could go. 

Yuuki Nobe backed out of the room as he ripped off his gloves and trotted down the corridor to meet the next ambulance. A flame-haired young man was wheeled into the ER, fully conscious and looking petrified over his neck-brace. The right saide of his face was covered in blood but even from the first glance he could see that the boy's injury was minor compared to the driver's. He allowed the paramedics to go ahead with his report.

"Fujimiya Aya, 21 years old passanger in the car. Facial lacerations and multiple abrasions. Says he lost consciousness briefly after the accident. Possible concussions, BP 100 over 80".

"Let's get him into exam two".

They moved the young man onto the hospital gurney and Yuuhi smiled down at him. 

"Hey, Aya. I'm Dr. Yuuki. How are you feeling?". He shone a light into his eyes and inspected the gash over his forehead without waiting for a response.

"Is Ken all right?"

"He's fine. They're taking care of him next door. What about you Aya? Do you know what day today is?"

"Sunday".

"Good. Can you tell me where it hurts?"

"Is he really okay? He didn't wake up after….after…" Aya's words trailed off as he regarded the doctor carefully, looking for contradiction in his eyes.

"Hidaka-san's injuries are serious, but we are doing everything we can to make sure that he's okay," he said calmly. Aya eyed him suspiciously and Yuuki wished he were a better liar. "Let me worry about you for a moment, then I'll go and checked on your friend, okay? Where does it hurt?"

Aya stalled his response, but then decided to trust the doctor. "My head hurts".

"Anywhere else?"

"My chest, a little".

Yuuki cut his shirt away and inspected the bruising on his fairly pale skin. He could see the oblique red mark from the seat belt he had been wearing. After carefully prodding his abdomen, Yuuki concluded that the young man was very lucky, there didn't appear to be any internal injury.

"Get the portable X-Ray after Suzuki finish with it, and I still want a CXR," he said quietly over the gurney to the nurse who was standing opposite him. He turned his attention back to Aya and gently eased the cervical colar off. Another nurse began cleaning the blood from his face.

"Okay, Aya, we're just going to make sure that you don't have any broken ribs or anything else. That cut on your head is going to need some stitches and we are going to keep you here to make sure you don't have any concussion".

Aya nodded while an EMT walked over to Yuuki. "Doctor, it's strange, but I can't find the patient name on the computer. I don't see any Ken Hidaka, so I can't contact his next of kin".

Aya overheard the words and realized that their name wouldn't be on the computer, because they didn't exist on the list. "He don't have any family," he said quietly, making the doctor and nurse's attention snapped back at him. "He doesn't have any family. He's staying with me. Just call this number, and tell whoever answered the phone about us," he said and then gave out the number of their apartment.

Yuuki nodded. "Okay, if you say so," he then nodded to the EMT to go back to her work.

Aya closed her eyes. He tried not to think how Youji and Omi would react when they got the call. They must be worry sick about him and Ken now. The last mission had been more than two hours over and they were supposed to meet Youji and Omi back there in the apartment. 

But now it wasn't his main concern. He was too busy worrying about Ken, and he turned his attention back to the young doctor who was tending him.

"You said you'd find out how Ken is".

"We're going to take an X-Ray on your chest first, Aya, then…"

"Please," he interrupted him, his violet eyes unsually pleading. Yuuki softened, seeing his frantic worry, and acquiesced. 

"Okay, I'll go and find out how he is doing. But then the X-Ray and stitches, okay? No argument".

"Okay," Aya said, relaxing slightly at his friendly tone. But it didn't alleviate the fear in his heart. He remembered looking over at Ken in the car and seeing his body slumped against the door like a rag doll. He had called his name repeatedly, but he didn't answer him… Aya blinked back the tears of fear that threatened to come as the doctor smiled back at him and walked away. He had to know that Ken was all right.

~end of part 1~


	2. Default Chapter Title

Aya crossed his katana graciously on the opponent in front of him. It was another night, another bloody mission. The night and the mission had been long and tiring. Aya couldn't wait for this mission to end.

Just a couple moments again, he told himself repeatedly. He slashed his katana again at some other body guards and ran to the stairs. He was almost flying when he ran down the stairs.

It was almost time. Both Youji and Omi had activated some kind of explosive that could be controlled from another building. Damn all of this weapon dealer, Aya cursed inwardly. He rarely, if not almost never, dealt with explosive, and he didn't like it one bit when he came to deal with it.

He almost could hear the seconds ticked away, like he had a giant clock in his head. He threw open the door and ran outside as fast as possible. He had to get away as far as possible from the building.

A car speeding, came into his view. In a few seconds, the car came up a few feet in front of him and screeched into a halt. The passanger door thrown open, inviting him to get in.

"Aya!!," he heard Ken yelled from the car. "Get in, quick!! It'll explode in a few seconds!"

Aya ran faster and jumped into the car, and before he even had time to close the door, Ken had slammed his foot on the accelerator and sped away. In a frantic haste, Aya slammed shut the door and struggled to wear his seatbelt.

After a few seconds, there were a loud, deafening explosion, erupted from the bulding behind him. Aya reflectively lowered his head, as did Ken, who still had his eyes plastered to the road they were driving on.

After the building was out of sight, Ken slowed the car down and sighed loudly. "Geez, that *was* close," he breathed out.

"Yeah, that was…" Aya nodded.

"What took you so long back there, Aya?" Ken asked, a demanding tone in his voice, layered with worry. "I almost thought you decided to die back there!"

Silence descended over them, a comfortable silence. Both of the just felt grateful that they could escape the explosion.

"Next time, remind me not to take any mission Manx offered us that has something to do with explosive," Ken growled. "You think Youji and Omi have gone back home?"

"They should be," Aya said. "I just hope they can escape the guards. Manx said that the security there is very high".

"Hmph, I'm sure they can handle it," Ken snorted.

"They have to," Aya replied quietly.

The old Corolla they drove glinding smoothly down the road of Tokyo, towards their apartment. Ken turned on the radio and hummed softly as a song came out from the radio. Aya looked outside the window, at the leaves that started to fall.

So it's autumn already, he thought. Maybe that's why he felt some strange feeling lately. He didn't want to admit it in front of his fellow assassins, but he started to think that what they said was right. That he had change, eventhough not much. That he had warmed up a bit. That he wasn't as cold as he used to be.

He didn't really know why he had change, but he almost sure that it was, beside the great, relieving news that Aya-chan was getting better, because of the certain brunette that sit beside him right now.

Hah, tell Aya-chan that his oniichan has this drastically growing strange affection for another *boy*, he mused. He didn't really sure when all this feeling started. Maybe since Ken started to talk about his thought, about his feeling more to him. Lately, Ken had a habit to come to him whenever he had a problem. At first Aya found it a bit disturbing, but as the activity went on and on, he felt glad that Ken came to him. He felt trusted. 

"…because I finally decided to take on some driving course a couple months ago! Ha, if I couldn't drive, we wouldn't escape that explosion! Tell Youji about that," Ken said, the realized that Aya wasn't listening to him. "Aya?" he asked.

"Huh?," Aya was snapped out of his thought. "Gomen, I didn't hear what you said".

"What, thinking about Aya-chan again?" he smiled. 

"Aa"

"It's really great to know that the doctor had taken off the respirator because Aya-chan is getting better," he beamed. "She must be about to wake up, Aya,"

"I hope so" 

"I think so," Ken said confidently. "And hey, we can take the empty room on our floor for her. You will feel safer if she is beside you, won't you?"

Aya glanced at Ken and saw the gleaming in his eyes. It touched him at how much Ken care at Aya-chan. It was as if Aya-chan was his own sister.

"And maybe you will be much less colder," he smiled. "You've made a lot of progress lately, Aya, especially since the doctor told you about Aya-chan's condition"

"Really?," he asked, the corner of his mouth quirked up into a small smile.

"See? You are smiling! You did that quite a lot lately," he smiled. "You also talked more than you used to be".

Aya didn't know why, but he actually felt happy at Ken's word.

"It's relieving, you know? It's good to see the changes. I'm sure Youji and Omi feel the same too"

"They'd better be," Aya smiled.

"You know Aya?," Ken said, glancing slightly at him. "You look much more better when you are smiling"

Aya's eyes widened a bit. Was that a compliment?, he thought. Did he mean something with that words? He was turning his head to Ken, opening his mouth to say something back to him when suddenly he saw Ken's face light up dramatically like the spotlight was flooding through the widescreen. In a split second Aya thought at how surreal Ken's eyes looked bleached ghostly pale by the glaring light, before he glanced forward to discover the cause of the sudden brightness. 

He turned just in time to see two huge headlights bearing down upon them… on their side of the road. Aya was like a deer caught in the light, he was fixated by the hot white bulbs and felt as if he had been staring at the sight for minutes. In reality it was only a split second before he yelled Ken's name and the brunette turned the steering wheel violently in an attempt to swerve out of the way.

There was not enough time. Aya knew it before he heard the squealing tires, the shattering glass and the dull scrunching noise as metal scraped metal. The impact shoved him sideways and he felt the seatbelt cut him in half before his head smacked into the side windows. The impact stunned him and made him dizzy. 

The world spun crazily and it took a few seconds for Aya to realize that it wasn't his imagination. That the car was actually rolling. The noise was deafening, debris in the car flying at her face and arms. With a sudden jolt, the old Corolla righted itself, rocking momentarily from side to side before it finally came to a stop. 

Aya saw black. He stopped thinking. He surrendered to the darkness with great relief. He would've been quite happy to stay that way for a while, but after what felt like a few seconds, his disobeying eyes fluttered open. Aya was definitely dizzy now. His head swam and he saw white spots in front of his eyes that blurred his vision. It took all of his concentration to clear the annoying buzzing noise in his mind and to try and worked out what had happened. He remembered seeing the headlights, remembered swerving sharply and he remembered calling out to Ken.

All of Aya's muffled thoughts compressed into a single word…Ken. He turned his head gingerly, his body responding slowly though his mind was suddenly clear with purpose. He could see Ken slumped against the car door, but the whole side was buckled and torn, pushing Ken closer to him than he was before. Unable to see his face because of the white airbag that had deployed, Aya tried reaching out to nudge him.

"Ken?," his voice came in a whisper but he didn't know why. He tried again, louder this time. "Ken?"

Aya felt himself panic when Ken didn't response to touch or sound. The spots in front of his eyes returned, but he fought the sleepiness he felt. He had to make sure Ken was all right.

Aya pressed his hand to his temple to try to alleviate the throbbing pain in his head. He had to decided what to do. When his hand came away sticky and warm, he realized that it was blood. He was bleeding. He often bled. Hell, he bled so much time, but that time, the idea and its meaning seemed unconnected though, and he brushed the thought aside.

Help. He needed to get help. Aya tried to open the door of the Corolla and was relieved to note how easily it swung open. But getting out was another story.

He swung his legs out of the door but as he launched himself to the ground, the seatbelt he had forgotten to undo cut into his chest and leg painfully. Cursing his own stupidity but felt himself grew more confuse and less in control, he snapped the belt off and stumbled to the ground. Aya was surpised at how comical his legs felt --- like he was so intoxicated they couldn't hold his own weight.

He didn't know where he was going, but he knew he had to find help. Almost walking into a line of trees that lined the road, he saw how close they had come to the edge of the road. It didn't dawned on him that if the car had rolled any further, the passanger side would've slammed into one of these trees. Aya was too preoccupied to even consider it.

He walked unsteadily around the front of the smacked up Corolla, smelling burnt rubber and felt the scrunching glass under his feet. He saw the bright taillights of the other vehicle further down the road. There was also another smaller light that seemed to dance around in the darkness of its own accord. 

Aya didn't stop to wonder what it was. Instead he focused his eyes carefully and saw that the other vehicle was a truck. A small truck, but a truck nonetheless. He continued on towards it, but drew up short when a man suddenly loomed before him, a flashlight in hand.

"Godness, son, are you all right?!" came a frantic cry. Aya leapt back automatically as a crushing hand tightened around his arm and the light was shone right in his face. He was blinded even after the beam was turned away, and it took him a few seconds before he could make out the man who thrust his bearded face towards him. "Are you hurt? Are you okay?"

"I'm all right," he said groggily, wrenching away from the grip. Aya touched his hand to his temple again and felt a stabbing pain. He heard the man swore concernedly.

"I need help…Ken," he muttered, pushing past the truck driver to Ken's side of the car. The man dutifully held up the torch without being asked, though he took a few steps back. Aya was too busy searching for the door handle and panicked when he didn't see one. The metal was so contorted that he couldn't even open the door to get him out.

The window had been smashed, however, and Aya almost smiled when he saw the top of Ken's head in the torchlight. At least he could see the brunette's face now, and he stepped forward to get a better view.

Aya almost wished he hadn't. None of his uncountable mission, even the worst of it, could ever prepared him for the sight of his bestfriend all covered in blood. Ken's eyes were shut and for a heart wrenching moment, Aya thought that he was dead. The truck driver must had thought the same, because he heard him starting to moan and curse behind him.

Aya ignored him and stepped closer, his movement almost mechanical. He whispered Ken's name, pleading this time, and carefully put two fingers through the shattered window and found Ken's neck. 

Ken's skin was slick with blood and Aya's fingers slipped before he could find any pulse. Aya was about to give up when he suddenly felt a faint flicker. Holding his breath unconciously, he waited to feel it again just to be sure. It was the greatest feeling in the world when he realized it *was* his pulse and he wasn't just imagining it. Aya sighed with relief and felt his throat unclenched slightly.

"He's alive," he murmured to himself, but the truck driver assumed he was talking to him.

"He's all right?" he asked jubilantly.

"We have to get him to the hospital," Aya snapped, suddenly feeling anger for the first time. He turned around and glared at the man, with his now hard violet eyes. "He needs help. NOW!"

"I've called ambulance already," the driver asnwered meekly, as if he was afraid of the redhead that stood in front of him. Or maybe he was. "I called them on my radio".

He regarded Aya's fierce expression through the blood and matted hair that clung on his face. Aya felt his vision turned red as the man stood there helplessly, not doing a thing.

"You were on the wrong side of the road," he said evenly, his voice low and deadly. "You came around the corner on the wrong side. You could have killed us both".

The man backed away from him further, shaking his head as if to deny the truth. He opened his mouth to protest but was saved from having to think of what to say to the young man in front of him when they both heard the wail of the approaching ambulance.

Aya's attention was drawn away when he saw the flashing red lights, so he didn't even notice the second set of blue lights of the police car that followed it. Nor did he take in the ashen face of the truck driver when the officers got out of the squad car and walked up to them. Aya's only concern was Ken.

~end of part 2~


	3. Default Chapter Title

::Part 3::

Omi had been walking back and forth for what seemed like half an hour already and the movement was starting to get on Youji's nerve. "Omi, for the love of God, please stop and sit down!".

"But Youji-kun," he whined. "They have been late for two hours!!"

"They've been late for only two hours, Omi," Youji said tiredly. "They are both grown up young men, they can handle themselves so quit worrying".

"But it had never happened before! They always go straight home after every mission!"

"Maybe they have a sudden things to do," the older man said.

"Like what?" Omi retorted. "Delivering flowers? At three am in the morning?"

"That's right. It's three am in the morning and if my memory serves me right, you have class on Monday, so go to sleep!"

"But I don't want to! I have to know first what has happened to Aya-kun and Ken-kun!"

"Omi, nothing's happened," Youji sighed. "Relax. Maybe Aya suddenly has the urge to visit his imouto and you know how Aya is after every mission".

"C'mon, Youji-kun. Make a hospital visit at this hour?? Get real!," Omi snorted. "Something must had happened to them, I know it".

"You are so stubborn, Omi," he sighed. "Here, can you help me wrapping up this bandage on my arm? It's kinda hard to do it just with one arm".

Omi came up to him, his expression still troubled. He took the bandage and started wrapping it around Youji's arm after putting on the medicine on the wound.

"How about you just sleep, Omi? I'll wait here for them and when they come home I'll punch them for making you worry".

Omi smiled a little. "Ne, you can't say that you are not worry about them, Youji-kun," he said softly.

Despite whatever he tried to show in front of Omi, Youji had to admit that he was very worry about Aya and Ken. It was so unusual for them to go somewhere after a mission. Was that mean that Omi was right? That something happened to his fellow assassins? It couldn't be that they failed on mission…or…did they…were they late to escape when he and Omi push the button to explode the building? 

As the thought dawned on him, he felt shivers ran down his spine. No, it couldn't be. They knew when he and Omi would explode the building. And they were much too experienced assassins to do such a mistake like that. But what if they couldn't escape the guards? What if…

Youji shook his head to get rid of the thought. Definitely not tell Omi about this possibility or he would be acting much worse than this.

But Omi caught his movement. "What, Youji-kun? Thinking something bad has happened to Aya-kun and Ken-kun?" he asked.

"No," Youji said quickly. A bit too quickly. "No, of course I'm not. You know what an optimist I am, Omittchi" he smiled. But he knew his smile was unconfident, not comforting.

He was thinking to check on the hospital for any victim of the explosion when suddenly the telephone rang, snapping him out of his reverie and making Omi jumped in surprise. Omi quickly dashed to the phone but Youji was quicker and he answered the phone, much to Omi's dismay.

"Heh, Aya, where are you?," he snapped to the phone, not caring who actually made the call. "What…? Oh sorry…Yes, this is Kudou Youji speaking…".

Omi saw Youji expression ashen and his face was going unusually pale when he listened to the person on the other end. And in an instant, Omi knew that his feeling was right. That something bad had happened to Aya and Ken.

"Yes…yes, thank you very much, miss…," Youji said to the phone. "Yes, we'll be there as soon as possible…yes, thank you". 

"What happened, Youji-kun?" Omi asked as Youji hang up the phone, his voice sounded strangely high-pitched. 

"It's Aya and Ken," Youji said in a low voice, almost whispering. "They have a bad car accident…'

"Oh, God," Omi gasped. "Youji-kun, we have to go to the hospital now!!"

"Yeah, yeah," Youji said. "But lemme call Manx first…"

* * *

Aya was trying to get some sleep, but it wasn't easy in the noisy ER cubicle. They had not admitted him upstairs for observation yet, but the nurse who came in every so often to check on him whispered that it wouldn't be much longer. 

He was relieved when Youji, Omi, Manx and Birman arrived. He was relieved to have someone to talk to. As soon as he saw the redhead, Omi rushed to Aya's bedside.

"Aya-kun! Aya-kun, how are you feeling?" he asked worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Aya smiled tiredly and informed them that the doctor had told him that he was okay, that they just need to keep him overnight because of a possible concussion.

"Hey, Aya," Youji said, his voice soft. 

"Hey," he replied back.

"Aya, Birman and I are going to take care of the administration, okay? Youji and Omi will stay here with you," Manx said. Aya nodded in an answer. 

Youji gingerly brushed his hand to Aya's in a safe, friendly gesture, signing to the redhead that he was there with him. He stared intently at Aya's face while Omi keep talking to Aya, trying to ignore the angry bruise that marred his pale face. He felt his warm skin and hear Aya's steady breaths and he felt immeasurably better. Despite whatever others might think, he cared a great deal about his younger teammates. The fact that he was the oldest in Weiß made him feeling over protective about his teammates. But of course, he never showed it openly. 

Youji was thoroughly relieved that Aya was really all right, and somehow, knowing that Aya was okay made it easier for him to believe that Ken would be okay too. During the frantic journey to the hospital he had imagined the most gruesome injuries they might have suffered, and yet, Aya wasn't too bad, despite some cuts and bruises. He prayed that Ken would be okay too.

Youji spotted Birman standing at the door and she gave him signall to come over. He turned to Omi who was still talking to Aya, although Aya kept quiet for most of the time. "Omi, I'm going with Birman. I'll be back in few minutes," he said.

Omi stared at him and opened his mouth to say something, but Aya overtook him. "Are you going to find out about Ken's condition?" he asked quietly.

"I think so, Aya,"

"Do come back and tell me," he said. "I have asked the nurse but they kept fob me off".

"Of couse I will, Aya," he said reassuringly. "Now try to relax, okay? Omi will keep you accompanied". He then turned around and walked with long steps towards Birman.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm going to the doctor on duty to asked for Ken's condition. I thought you want to come," she said.

"Where's Manx?"

"Still taking care of the administration," she said then turned on her heels. "C'mon".

"You haven't asked any nurse?"

"One told me that they are still working on him, can't tell us much about that," she said. "It's much better to asked the doctor directly".

Youji sighed and followed her.

From his bed, Aya watched them left, a deep frown creasing his brows. He didn't really acknowledge what Omi was saying to him. He was too focused on finding the news about Ken's condition.

* * *

Youji and Birman stood impatiently in front of one particular room. The nurse told them to wait for Doctor Suzuki there. Youji shifted restlessly from one foot to another while Birman sometimes tapped her foot in a gesture of impatience. 

One nurse, to whom they had asked about Ken's condition come up to them. "Well?," snapped Birman.

"They said just to wait. Apparently the specialist is still examining him," she replied calmly. With a polite nod, she continued to walk.

Youji felt his emotions bagged up and lump on his throat. Why does it take the doctors so long? Why haven't we heard anything? Why was there such a delay? Youji swallowed hard and tried not to let his imagination got the better of him. Before too long, a dark haired woman in white coat emerged from one room and walked up to them.

"Are you here for Hidaka Ken?" she asked politely. Birman nodded calmly while Youji nodded eagerly. "I'm Doctor Suzuki. I appologize for not speaking to you sooner --- "

"Is he all right?" Youji snapped.

"Well, Mister, perhaps ---"

"Please, go ahead, Doctor," Birman said. One of her hand holding Youji's arm tightly in order to prevent him from doing something reckless. 

"Very well, then," the doctor began gravely. "Hidaka-san's injuries are very serious but we have managed to stabilize him. He's still unconscious and we have sedated him as well for this moment. He'll be moved to the Intensive Care Unit shortly, where we can monitor his condition further… But I'm afraid Hidaka-san will be in the hospital for some times. He has suffered from a spinal injury, the extent of which we can't determine yet".

"What?" Youji frowned.

"Hidaka-san has severe swelling around his spinal cord from the impact of the collision. Until it subsides we can not fully assess the damage that's been done. All we can do is wait at this stage".

"His spinal cord? Are you saying that he's paralyzed?," Birman asked carefully. She was only asking what she knew Youji was thinking too.

"I really can't say at the moment," Miho said, stalling her answer. She wasn't certain what she should tell them when nothing was known for sure. But the fierce looking young man that stood in front of her was not the one to keep in the dark. Nor was the woman that stood beside him. She decided to come clean.

"It might be several days until we got some definitive answers. There doesn't appear to be any internal injuries, apart from the collapsed lung which we have dealt with and a few cracked ribs. But what I can tell you is the pleminary X-Ray shows he has fractured several vertebrae of his spine. Whether or not there's any damage to the cord is just too difficult to ascertain at this moment".

"And if the cord is damaged?," Youji asked, his voice low.

The doctor turned towards the tall blond young man who was staring at her gravely. Her expression softened as she saw the massive concern that was painted across his face. Miho hated giving out news like this, especially when it was about someone so young. But she had done it before, and would no doubt do it many more times before her career was over.

"If the spinal cord has been severed or damaged, then Hidaka-san will suffer some paralysis. Whether or not it's permanent will depend on the severity of the injury".

"And do you think he will?" Youji choked, almost unable to say the words.

"Like I said, at the moment --- "

"Please, Doctor," Birman cut her off. "We need to know".

Miho paused. "The fractures are severe, and in most cases this leads to some spinal cord damage. But really, we won't know the full story until we can send Hidaka-san for an MRI and operate to repair what damage we can. For now, I'm afraid that all we can do is wait. I'm deeply sorry that I don't have any better answer for you".

Neither Birman nor Youji pressed her any further. When it seemed that the two person in front of her didn't have any further question, Miho nodded encouragingly to them and slipped back inside the examination room to oversee Ken's removal to the ICU.

* * *

Birman and Youji walked back slowly to Aya's cubicle in the ER, each of them trying to deal with the news about Ken. 

They didn't discuss what they would tell to Aya. Youji knew Aya would be looking to him for answer and he wondered what could he possibly tell Aya. Should he tell him what they knew? But what did they really knew? He asked himself. The doctor had said she didn't know for sure… maybe there wouldn't be any spinal cord damage at all and Ken would be okay. He snorted at the naïve idea. 

But hey, who knows? He didn't want to worry Aya for nothing, if it all turned out okay. Aya was still recovering from his own injuries anyway, and Youji didn't want to compound his problem by making him worry over Ken. 

They spotted Manx was standing near the door, apparently having had talk with a nurse. Birman walked up to her and patted Youji shoulder, signing him to go into the cubicle alone. Youji stared at Birman, then Manx, then Birman again, then knew that he was on his own. He prepared what he would say, took a deep breath and walked into the cubicle.

Omi and Aya looked up expectantly to him when he entered the curtained-off area, so Youji forced up a smile. Aya was obviously exhausted, and the drugs he had been given were making it harder for him to stay awake. He didn't have much energy to grill Youji about Ken's condition.

"Is he okay?" Aya asked, his voice barely a whisper. Each time he blinked his eyes it was harder to get them open again.

Youji barely paused before answering him, knowing that even in this state Aya could tell if he wasn't being completely honest.

"He's all right, Aya. The doctor said he'll be there for a while, but she thinks he'll be fine".

"Really?"

Youji wished Aya hadn't asked that. His voice sounded almost hopeful, Youji hated lying to him. "Really, Aya. Now you need to get some rest".

"Youji-kun's right, Aya-kun. Try and go to sleep," Omi said gently.

Aya didn't protest anymore. He was too tired to feel anything and it was getting difficult to even think straight. At least he knew Ken was all right. Aya finally allowed himself to surrender to the darkness of sleep, knowing that when he woke up, he would be able to see Ken for himself. He tried to think of what he would say to him, but the thought had barely registered before he lost consciousness.

Youji watched him until he fell asleep. Omi looked up and smiled to Youji, relieved that all of the dramas of the early dark morning were seemingly resolved. He had been so shocked and frightened when they received the call from the hospital, not knowing if Aya and Ken were really all right. But now everything was all right. Omi wondered why Youji didn't seem happier that their teammates would be fine. A chill ran through his body.

"Youji-kun, is Ken-kun really okay?" Omi breathed quietly, in case Aya could still hear them.

Youji glanced away almost as soon as he met Omi's eyes, and Omi had his answer.

~end of part 3~


	4. Default Chapter Title

::Part 4::

Aya blinked hard against the blinding sun that streamed through his window and onto his bed. He felt its warmth and was comforted with it, realizing that the room he was in was quite cold. Once he could focused his eyes properly, he scanned his surroundings, at first unsure where he was. It was only when he tried to move his head that he remembered everything. 

The events of the previous evening hit him like a ton of bricks. Aya remembered being in the car with Ken, the terrible noise as their car collided with the truck, the long, anxious wait he had to endure before he knew that Ken would be all right.

He was still in the hospital, he realized, but no longer in the emergency room. It was a tiny room he was in now, with dull sterile white walls that seemed to bleached the life out from the cheery yellow sunlight. Aya wondered if he should call someone to let them know that he was awake. Glancing around for a call button to call the nurse, Aya noticed Omi curled up in a chair in one corner of the room. Omi looked decidedly uncomfortable, but had somehow managed to fall asleep on the stiff, wooden chair. Aya smiled a little to himself and didn't have the heart to wake the younger boy.

Aya turned his head back and grimaced as he felt a sharp pain. He tentatively touched the dressing that covered most of his forehead and remembered the stitches he had on the cut. He hadn't felt too bad after the accident --- he had been more numb than anything --- but now he had developed a splitting headache. The need to call for a nurse heightened, and Aya was tempted to ask for a handful of aspirin at the same time.

After less than a minute, as if answering his silent call, a smiling nurse entered the room.

"Well, well, you are finally awake!," she said brightly, bustling towards him.

From the corner of his eyes, Aya saw Omi stirred at the sound and slowly woke up. He rubbed his eyes tiredly and looked at Aya and the nurse. "Ohayou," he murmured and then stretched.

"Ohayou," the smiling nurse greeted back at the blonde boy. "How are you feeling, young man?" she asked, turning her attention back at Aya. She pulled Aya's chart from the foot of the bed and scanned it.

"Apart from a killer headace, okay, I guess," he said grimly.

"Well, that to be expected. You've got a nasty knock," the nurse said. She smiled down at him as she strapped a blood pressure strap on Aya's arm and tucked a stethoscope into her ears. Aya waited patiently as the nurse took the reading and recorded it in the chart. 

"Do you think I could have some aspirin?" Aya asked as the nurse continued her observation. Aya noticed on her name tag that her name was Kaneko Miyuki.

"Soon, hon, after the doctor has seen you,"

"Great," Aya muttered under his breath as his head throbbed painfully.

"You'll be as right as rain in a few days," the nurse continued cheerily. 

Aya didn't think it was fair that the nurse should be so happy when he himself felt so awful.

"I'll take your word for it," he said grimly.

"You are a very lucky young man, you know," she said kindly, replacing the chart. She went back to Aya's bedside, tucking his blanket as she went. "They are terrible things, car accidents. I never want my boy to get his license… I was real sorry to hear about your friend. It's such a tragedy when someone so young like that…"

Aya felt his whole body freeze. He could've sworn that his heart stopped beating. He sensed Omi rushed to his side from his previous place near the window. Omi shot the nurse a wide-eyed stare, his mouth opened in shock. 

The woman was talking as if Ken was dead, Aya thought, but he could barely comprehend what that meant. Aya was dazed with fear.

"Is he not okay?" Omi asked, his voice sounded frantic and worry. "Is he dying?". Youji hadn't told him about the detail of Ken's condition last night.

Miyuki noticed their frightened reaction and figured they probably hadn't taken the news in last night. She fussed over them in a maternal manner, sounding as encouragingly as she could.

"Now, now, don't you worry, hon. Doctors can do amazing things these days and rehabilitation practices are improving all the time. Just look at that Christopher Reeves --- and his injuries are much more serious than your friend".

Aya let go of the breath he had been holding and felt the flood of relief that Ken was actually still alive. For a moment there he had thought… but then his elation was destroyed when the nurse's words sank in. Christopher Reeves. Aya slightly remembered that Christopher Reeves was a quadriplegic. He was completely paralized and on a respirator… Aya couldn't believe it. His chest tightened and lump formed in his throat as he dared to think Ken in that condition.

"Don't worry, honey, everything's going to be all right," Miyuki cooed. She finally realized that perhaps Aya hadn't known about his friend's condition at all and she shouldn't have mention it. Miyuki hoped she wouldn't get into trouble for divulging the information.

"I need to see him," Aya whispered, interupting her thought of self preservation. "Can I see him?"

"Aya-kun!," Omi exclaimed.

"Well, he's in the ICU and they only let immediate family in there…" Miyuki said slowly and with uncertainty in her voice.

"We *are* the closest persons he has to his family," Aya insisted. "He doesn't has any family. He only has us. Please…". He was pleading, staring intently at the nurse's eyes. His own discomfort was forgotten when he imagined Ken lying there… he had to restain himself not to just jump and run to Ken's room.

Miyuki looked over her shoulder for other staff as she contemplated his request. She didn't look into the young man's eyes for too long before she finally gave in to the request. "All right, then. But you are going in a wheelchair, okay? You are not even supposed to get up before the doctor sees you".

"I'm fine. I feel fine," Aya lied, pulling himself further upwards.

"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'll just check that the coast is clear," Miyuki said.

"Ano," Omi spoke up. "Can I come too?"

She looked at him for a moment then smiled tenderly. "Oh, I guess that wouldn't make a difference".

Miyuki glanced around furtively as she scurried out of the door. Aya's throat clenched tight as he waited impatiently for the nurse to return. He was so preoccupied with worry that he almost jumped in surprise when he heard a noise from the door.

"Hey, you are awake," Youji said as he walked in, his hands holding two cups of hot coffee. "For you, Omi," he said, handing one cup to Omi.

"Thanks, Youji-kun," he said and took a small sip.

"I left to cafetaria because I suddenly felt hungry," Youji smiled sheepishly. "How are you feeling now, Aya?"

"You lied to me," Aya growled, his voice low and deadly. 

Youji took a step back in surprise. The violet eyes were full of hatred. "What?" he managed to stammered.

"You lied to me about Ken," he said. "You just happened to leave out the fact that he is paralyzed. You told me he was all right".

"What? They don't know if he is! The doctor said it's too soon to tell… I didn't want to make you worry, Aya. I thought …"

"You still should've told me. I have the right to know the truth. I trusted you, Youji".

Youji opened his mouth to explain further, but every excuse seemed meaningless in the light of the day. It had been easier to excuse the lie the night before, believing it was for Aya's own good. But Youji could see now that he had been wrong. Before he had a chance to appologize, a nurse entered the room pushing an empty wheelchair.

"You ready, young man?" she asked.

Aya nodded and slipped out of the bed, walking a bit unsteadily towards the wheelchair. Omi held his hand to assist him.

"Where are you going?" Youji asked.

Aya ignored his question, but Omi answered him. "To see Ken," he said softly.

"Are you sure that's allowed? I mean, you should be resting," Youji said.

Aya glared at him, his violet eyes burning with fury. He didn't say anything but Youji saw a threat in his glare. "I'm going with you," he said.

"Well, I'm not sure," Miyuki said. "That'd be too many people…" 

"I need to know Ken's condition too. I'm his friend too just like them," Youji said fiercely. "I'm going with you".

Miyuki and Youji stared at each other for a few moments before Miyuki finally relented. "Okay, but please keep silent," she said.

Youji nodded, not saying a word. He looked at Aya, but the redhead didn't looked at him again, his eyes remained steadfastly ahead as the nurse turned him around and wheeled him out of the door. Omi looked at Youji sympathetically and without another word, they followed Aya.

* * *

"Now, you can only stay for a minute," Miyuki counseled as they made their way up the hospital corridor to the Intensive Care Unit. "Hidaka-san's still unconsciouss anyway".

Miyuki stopped just outside the door to the ICU room. Aya looked up and saw "Hidaka, SCI" written on a small white board on the door.

"I'll let you guys take him in," Miyuki said to Omi and Youji. "Remember, not too long".

Both Omi and Youji nodded and waited as Miyuki held open the door. Omi pushed Aya inside, Youji walking behind them. The room was darkened and it took a few seconds for their eyes to adjust to the dim light. A curtain had been drawn around the bed, so Youji stepped forward to pull it aside.

He stopped short when he saw Ken, unable to move momentarily. He didn't realize that he was standing in front of Aya and Omi until Aya shoved him impatiently from behind. Youji turned around and looked deep into those violet eyes. Aya's chest tightened when he saw the terror that flooded Youji's face. Youji stepped numbly aside and Aya got his first glimpse of Ken.

He was lying on his back, his body bare from the waist up. The cuts and bruises Aya could see was gruesome enough. One side of Ken's chest was swollen painfully and almost black in color. Aya's eyes traveled up Ken's torso to the stiff neck brace he was wearing. IV tubes protruded from both arms and a thicker tube was taped into place in his mouth. The pale blue plastic piping led to a respirator by the bed that hissed with every breath it pumped into his lung. Ken's boyish face was covered in small cuts and abrasions like his own, but it was then he saw what had shocked Youji so profoundly. 

There were two clamps attached to Ken's head just above his ears, culminating in a metal brace that was keeping Ken's head and neck perfectly still. The clamps were pressed so tightly against his skin that they appeared to have been drilled into his skull. Aya saw the brace was attached to traction weights. 

Aya just knew he couldn't bear to look at Ken any second longer. He thrusted his shaking hands on the wheel of his chair and almost ran over Omi's feet in an attempt to back out of the room as quickly as possible. 

"Get me out of here," he managed to say through ragged breaths. 

Omi obeyed without any question, and pulled him out into the brightly lit corridor again. Youji drew the curtain back before getting out of the room. 

Aya's pale face was now even paler. He was as white as a sheet, and Youji knew he had been traumatized by the sight of Ken badly injured. He had been stunned into silence and stared blankly ahead as the nurse took over and wheeled him back to his room.

* * *

Aya waited silently as Manx signed the paperwork to discharged him. Youji had stayed by his side since they returned from seeing Ken, but he didn't really acknowledge his presence. Aya was itching to get out of the hospital, he couldn't bear to stay there any minute longer. Luckily the doctor had agreed to let him go because he only suffered from mild concussion, but he was under strict instruction to get plenty of bed rest. He wasn't about to protest. Aya felt he could crawl into his bed and not get out again.

Youji sat glumly beside him. He wanted to talk to the redhead, to make sure that he was okay after being so upset seeing Ken. But Aya was ignoring him and he wondered if he was ever going to talk to him again. It was strange though, he didn't appear to be mad at him anymore. He had just closed himself off completely after they had gotten back to his room. He knew they shouldn't have gone to check on Ken. At least not now. Not when Aya was still unstable like this. 

Youji himself hadn't been prepared to see the sight of histeammate in that condition. He tried his hardest not to picture his battered body and terrible head clamps. Youji suspected that both Omi and Aya were having as hard time as he was, trying to erase that image from their mind.

"Okay, you ready?," Manx asked, tucking some papers into her shoulder bag.

Aya didn't respond immediately, his thought was a thousand miles away. But when he felt Youji's hand on his arm, he raised himself hastily.

"Oh, no, you don't," Miyuki admonished him as she approached the four of them. "It's the wheelchair until you are out of the door, young man".

Normally he would've protested for having to be wheeled out when he was perfectly able to walk, but Aya kept his mouth shut. He slumped back nto the chair and allowed Omi to pushed him out. It took only a few seconds for the idea of himself in the wheelchair and Ken to collide. 

Aya grimaced inwardly when he allowed himself to contemplate the connection. He couldn't think about it now. It was just too difficult. Aya just wanted to go back to his apartment and try to block out all of the thoughts from his mind. It seemed like the only way he could escape the idea that Ken would, in all probability, be paralized. 

Aya squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his fists so tightly that his fingernails cut into his palm. He concentrated on the pain rather than thinking about Ken.

~end of part 4~


	5. Default Chapter Title

:: Part 5 ::

Aya felt as if he had been asleep for weeks. He had barely come out of his apartment since his return from hospital. With the curtains drawn, he existed in perplextual darkness, pretending he was just following doctor's order to rest when he was actually hiding from the world. 

Luckily, no one had called him on it yet. Youji, Omi and Momoe-san, even Manx and Birman kept their distance from Aya's apartment, providing him the silence and loneliness he wanted. Youji and Omi didn't even tell him to take care of the flower shop, while usually they whined about that to no end. They ran the flower shop themselves, with the help from Momoe-san. Aya never showed any gratitude, but he was thankful that his friends seemed to understand that he didn't want to be bothered by any of them.

There had been visitors, of course. A police officer had come and taken his statement about the crash, probbing him incessantly for the details of the crash, the demeanor of the truck driver, and many other things Aya didn't want to think about. The dangerous driving charge would not be difficult to prove, and the officer informed him that the driver had confessed that he was falling asleep at the wheel when he veered over to the wrong side of the road. 

Aya listened numbly as the officer spoke, but he really didn't want to listen any of it. Nothing would change the fact that Ken was still in the hospital in a coma, and no one knew when he would wake up. Only then would they know how extensive his injuries were and if there would be some paralysis. Aya was having difficulty in concentrating on anything other than that.

It didn't take long for the nightmares to start. He really wasn't the type to be affected by nightmares, except the ones about Aya-chan's accident, but this accident really affected him in almost the same way as Aya-chan's accident did. 

Despite all the sleep Youji and Omi assumed he was getting, Aya was still exhausted. He would wake at least three times a night, hearing the screaming of the tyres and the thunderous noise of the impact. He would feel the incessant rolling of the car, and the terrible pain as his head hit the window. But the nightmares about Ken were the worst.

In every single one he imagined Ken dead. Sometimes he was crushed by the collision, other times thrown through the wide screen onto the road. As the nightmares became more gruesome, Aya was almost afraid to sleep. Fuck, sure, he *was* an assassin, and he had seen the death of many people, sometimes in horrible ways, but he had never seen the death of a close friend. And he didn't intend to. 

But still he stayed in his apartment, avoiding the real world where everything was still uncertain. He didn't know whether Ken would survive or not and he couldn't deal with anything else until he did.

***

Aya lay back onto the bed, unseeing. He lay in bed for another stretch, then staring into space. It could have been two minutes or two hours, Aya had no concept of the passing time as he withdrew into his shell. 

There were polite knocks on the door, startling him. He looked up and saw Youji came in. "I don't want any visitor," Aya said flatly.

"I know, Aya," Youji said. "There's no visitor. The only visitor here is me, and I need to talk to you". He stared at the redhead, waiting for his reaction.

Aya didn't give any. Youji took that as a yes and closed the door before walking to Aya's bedside. He pulled a chair and sat. There was silence in the room as Youji examining Aya's condition with his eyes, noting that he was much different from their leader he used to know.

"If you want to talk, then talk," Aya snapped. "Don't stare at me like I'm an alien or whatsoever".

Youji shifted on his chair. "Aya, we are very worried about you," he started. "You have been in this condition for days. Omi said that you almost never touch your food".

"Do you want to start a speech on me, Youji?"

"Aya, fuck, we are worried about you! Your condition is bad enough after the accident, and now the 'I-refuse-to-eat' act! It'll worsen your condition".

"I can't… I don't feel like to eat while Ken is there, lying between life and death… I…"

"Aya, we are sad too and you are not the only one who grief over the accident and the impact on Ken. But Aya, life's goes on. Unfortunately it won't stop turning, so we have to collect ourselves too. What do you think Omi and I feeling when we have to go on the mission without you and Ken, huh? Do you think it's easy for us? Fuck, no, Aya!"

"Youji, I…"

"Ken will be sad if he see you like this"

"Don't you dare to talk like you know what Ken's feeling right now, Youji…"

"Oh, hell, maybe I don't. No, I don't know. But trust me, he will. Good grief, Aya, he had sacrificed himself to protect you and you want to make his sacrifation useless?"

"What? Sacrife himself…"

"Yes. He cares so much about you, more than he cares about himself. That's why he turned the steering wheel to the _right. Can you imagine if he turned the wheel to the left? It'd be __you who lay there, not him. …Aya, he wanted to protect you… and now that you are already safe, try to show some grattitude by taking care of yourself properly."_

Ken had saved him? Aya had never thought about that before. Was he… was he that selfish? To only think about his grief and ignore the fact that someone else grief too?

Youji took a deep breath. He didn't mean to be so upset like this, but ever since the acciden't he couldn't control his emotion properly. Lucky him that Omi was still fully in control and could calm him down. "Look, Aya, I know you are still angry to me because I lied to you about Ken's condition, but…"

Aya waved his hand. "No, Youji, I don't. I realize that you lied for my own good. I'm sorry for blowing up at you. And I'm sorry for being so selfish… I… "

Youji smiled. At least some things were settled between them. "It's okay, Aya. Wait here," he said then walked out of the room. In a moment he was back, tray in hand. "Here, Omi made this for you. Well, it's only soup, and hot tea, but please just take them, okay? For Omi's sake? He's really worried about you".

Youji placed the tray on a small table and brought it near Aya's bed. "Aa…arigatou". The soup smelled quite good for him and for the first time since days, he realized that he actually felt rather hungry. He started to eat the soup with Youji still with him.

The taste of the soup maybe not world class, but Aya felt that the soup he was eating was one of the best he had ever had. Because it was filled with the warmth of a friendship. And he did feel warm, knowing that in this world there were still people who cared about him.

"Don't worry, Aya," Youji said. "Don't worry. Ken will wake up. He's strong. He will back to us".

Aya felt his eyes watered. "Aa…". Yes, Ken would wake up. And he had to keep the faith that everything would be okay.

***

Aya awoke from another nightmare. He still had nightmare, but after the talk with the eldest member of Weiß, the nightmare wasn't as gruesome as it used to be. He was reaching for his glass of water when Omi stormed into his room without knocking.

"A…Aya…Aya-kun, Youji just called from the hospital … It's Ken-kun…"

Aya sat bolt upright, not caring that he had knocked down the glass in process. His attention was on Omi and his words. What? What happen to Ken? Is his condition worsened? His mind was screaming many different speculations at him. He felt the pit of his stomach knotted in fear.

"Aya-kun, Ken-kun is awake!!" Omi beamed at him. "Heisawakeheisawakeheisawake!!!!"

Aya felt the fear loosened and there was a spark ignite within him. His world suddenly was invaded with hundreds of different thoughts and sensations at once.

"Is he allright?"

"They don't know yet. They are still performing some tests on him"

Aya's eyes widened. "Omi, Omi, I…"

"I know, I know. We go there together".

Aya smiled for the first time in days. He pulled off the covers and jumped out with the energy that surprised even himself. 

"But just one thing, Aya-kun," Omi said, his tone light. "Have a shower and change your clothes first. I don't think it's sanitary to go to the hospital in that condition".

Aya didn't need to be told twice. He was almost sprinting to the bathroom. He was so excited. He waste no time in the shower. He had to get to the hospital as soon as he possibly could to see him. 

~end of part 5 ~


	6. Default Chapter Title

::Part 6::

Ken could hear voices. They sounded so far away, muffled most of the time, but he could hear them. He didn't recognize any of the voices. All of the voices were like strangers for him. He has never heard it before. But then, distantly, he recognized one voice. It was Youji's. 

He abstractly realized that he didn't understand what they were saying. He knew they were talking, he knew he should be able to understand them, but for some reason he could not. What he did register was the tone of the voices. Some were serious, some were firm, as if giving orders and instructions to the other. And he noted that Youji's voice was both excited and nervous. He wondered what they were talking about, but he wasn't really concentrating. He found that he couldn't do that either.

Something was definitely different. Ken felt himself floating in a kind of darkness that was tangible and imaginary all at once. He had never experienced anything like it. Unable to analize where he was or what was going on, Ken just floated.

He wasn't hot or cold, happy or sad, frightened or apathetic. He didn't feel anything beyond slight curiousity and a strange sense of safety. He had no idea how long he existed in that state. Time had no meaning or revelance where he was. But then he heard Youji's voice.

It was the sound of Youji's almost pleading voice that finally reached him in the dense blackness. He became alert as he searched for his teammate. The darkness became oppressive now as he became increasingly aware of where he was. He still had no idea what was going on, but now he needed to know. 

The murky blackness slowly turned the light shades of gray until Ken was completely surrounded in a bright white light. He felt himself being pulled away from where ever he had been… where to he did not know. It wasn't until he opened his eyes that he understood any of it.

Ken blinked several times with difficulty, his eyelids heavy and uncooperative. He was so drowsy that he was tempted to fall back into the darkness where he felt safe. But then the voices grew animated and he blinked again. 

This time a young woman's face appeared before him. She was smiling down at him, a comforting smile. He heard her called his name, more clearly this time. Then he saw the estatic figure of Youji as well. He was almost grabbing the soccer player in happiness before someone stopped him, telling him that the patient was still very weak. Ken tried to focus his eyes better as he looked at the people that surrounded him, and he slowly became completely awake.

He felt strange. The first thing Ken was conscious of was the present of something in his throat and mouth. He tried to swallow, but whatever it was scratched against his throat so he soon stopped. He tried to move his lips to ask what was going on but he made no sound. Frowning, Ken tried to remove the foreign object, but discovered that he couldn't move his arms. 

He was frightened now. Ken was starting to process different sensations and he realized he could not feel much of anything below his neck. There was a dull aching pain on either side of his head just above his ears, but the lack of feeling scared him the most. He looked anxiously to Youji, silently begging for his help, for some kind of explanation, anything…

"Ken? Ken, can you hear me?" the young woman asked loudly and clearly, as if she was speaking to a foreigner who didn't understand any Japanese.

Frustated that he couldn't answer her, to scream that he didn't understand what was going on, Ken just blinked, holding her gaze intently.

"Everything's allright. You are alright…," she stroked his cheek and Ken was relieved that he could feel that. He noted that this young woman was a nurse and her name tag read "Kusuda Sayoko". "Don't worry, the doctor is on her way here".

"You are safe now, don't worry,". This time it was Youji's voice. He shifted his vision a little and saw the womanizer was staring at him intently. "You are in the hospital, Ken. There was a car accident, do you remember?"

Ken watched him carefully as he tried to comprehend his words. He was busy concentrating on finding the memories somewhere in his clouded mind. An accident… He was having difficulty remembering anything until he suddenly saw a flash -- there was a blinding light, terrible screeching noises and then the impact. It didn't really mean much to him. But then he suddenly saw something else -- another flash, this time a smile. It was a familiar smile, one Ken knew by heart. He realized with a wrenching feeling that it was Aya's smile. Focusing on that image, Ken suddenly remembered more than he wanted to. He remembered seeing Aya beside him, hearing him calling his name…

Sayoko saw the fear flod on Ken's face as he remembered the accident and she looked disapprovingly at Youji. Ken's eyes filled with fear and he tried again to speak and move his hands, this time with more vigor. But the ventilator tube preventing any speech and Sayoko hushed his futile attempts to remove it.

"Shh, Ken, try not to talk. You've been in a coma for five days and the doctors have hooked you up to a machine to help you breath," Sayoko said.

"Try to calm down," Youji added.

Ken stared at Youji, silently begging him to tell him if Aya was allright or not. Youji seemed to understand his silent question.

"Hey, Ken. Aya's allright, don't worry about him. He's got a bump on his forehead but he's okay," Youji said, somehow knowing it was the only thing Ken wanted to hear. He watched as the young assassin's face softened with relief and he shut his eyes.

Ken opened his eyes just in time when the doctor came in. "Oh, doctor, he is awake," Sayoko said.

Miho moved over to Ken and smiled at him. "Well, it's good to see you finally awake, Ken," she said cheerily, calling him with his nickname, no longer Hidaka-san. "I'm Dr. Suzuki." Noticing the boy tried to speak over the ventilator tube, she nodded in understanding. "I know it feels awful. That tube's been helping you breath when you were asleep. But I think we can take it out now, if you like to".

She looked at Sayoko who nodded back. She ushered Youji away with gentle murmur and took her place on the other side of the bed. 

"Okay, Ken, I need you to listen to me carefully," Miho said as she undid the tape that was holding the tube in place in Ken's mouth. "When I tell you to, I want you to take in the deepest breath you can and blow out hard. Now, it's going to hurt a bit because you've got some broken ribs and one of your lungs was punctured in the accident. But just do your best, okay?"

Ken didn't know what to do except just blinked.

"All right, on the count of three, a deep breath and blow, okay? One, two, three…"

Ken did as he was told and felt the tube snaking out of his throat as he blew out the painful breath. The irritation to his throat caused his to gag and cough at the same time, but the nurse and doctor were holding him down. Ken couldn't cough very successfully anyway, his chest hurt so much and he couldn't move at all. His body just spasmed as he tried to get rid of the terrible soreness of his throat and lungs. It was several minutes before he stopped feeling the urge to cough. He was exhausted from the effort, and barely felt the nurse wept the tears that had fallen unnoticed down either side of his face.

"I know it hurt like hell, but you did great, Ken," Miho reassured him. She was inserting another kind of tube into his nose now. "This is just going to give you some oxygen, okay? It's not as bad as the previous one".

Ken was powerless to do anything to stop her even if he wanted to. He was suddenly feeling so tired and had no energy at all. The doctor smiled down tenderly at him.

"It's okay, honey," she soothed. "How do you feel now?"

Ken licked his lips and tried his voice. It hurt to make any sound, but he forced himself to speak. He managed to make a noise, not really a word, but the doctor, the nurse and Youji looked at him encouragingly.

"What's… wrong?" Ken finally managed to whisper hoarsely. When no one answered straight away, he thought that maybe they still couldn't understand what he was saying, but then the doctor cleared he throat.

"The accident was very serious, Ken. Your back was injured, that's why you can't move properly. We've got your neck in a special brace so you won't do anymore damage". Miho pulled out an instrument from her pocket. "Now, I need to test how much sensation you have in your arms and legs, so can you help me out? I want you to tell me when you feel a pin prick, okay?"

"'Kay"

Miho started with Ken's arms and hands, touching a sharp pin to his skin at regular intervals. Ken murmured each time she did. Miho then moved to the foot of the bed, lifting up the blanket and exposing Ken's bare feet and legs. As she proceeded to apply the same technique, there was a silence in the room. Miho, Sayoko and Youji all looked at him as Ken remained staring at the ceiling while Miho continued to prick his legs and feet. The doctor glance at Youji and the nurse but said nothing, covering Ken up once more.

"That's good, Ken. All's finished".

"Okay?" he asked, trying to catch her eyes.

"Not bad. We're going to send you for some tests though, to see what's going on," Miho replied, not allowing her concern to affect her expression and tone of voice. "They won't take too long".

The doctor squeezed his arm and nodded to Youji. She left the room to make necessary arrangement. Another nurse came in to administer Ken with more pain medication to keep him from feeling the full pressure of the head clamps and the pain of his broken ribs. As the drugs took effect, Ken felt himself beginning to float again, so he almost forgot to ask Youji something before the orderlies came in to take him away for the test.

"Call Aya," he whispered as they wheeled him out of the room.

Youji was walking beside him. "Okay, Ken. I'll call him soon. Promise".

Youji stopped when they came to the elevator and the orderly said it'd be best if he waited in Ken's room. He remained standing there until they disappeared inside the lift, then he walked away quickly to find a telephone.

***

Aya and Omi walked quickly through the hospital corridors towards the admissions desk. "Hidaka Ken?," Aya asked the desk staff a little brusquely, impatient to see for himself that the brunette was alright.

The receptionist tapped away her keyboard then stated, "Level Three, room 20"

"Thank you," Omi said hurriedly while Aya forgot to. He was already walking towards the elevator.

When they found his room and found out that it was empty, Aya let out a frustated breath. He just wanted to see Ken and now he wasn't even know where he was. Looking around in annoyance for a member of the hospital staff to berate, he was stopped by Omi shaking his hand. He had spotted Youji in the waiting lounge at the end of the corridor.

"How is he?" Aya asked as they reached the small waiting area.

Youji looked up from his half-drunk cup of coffee. "He woke up a while ago and they've taken him upstairs for some tests. The doctor says the swelling around his spinal cord should have gone down some so they'll be able to tell… how much damage there is". Youji finished the sentence with difficulty. 

"But he is awake? He is okay?," Aya asked. The image from his nightmares were still in his mind and as much as he know that they were all just his imagination, he needed reassuring that it wasn't as bad as he had been imagining.

"The first thing he wanted to know was if you were alright, Aya," Youji smiled. "He wanted to see you".

Aya couldn't help but felt himself blushed a bit. "Oh, that stupid boy. He should be worried about himself, not me," he muttered.

"Told you Ken-kun cares so much about you," Omi said as he flopped down onto the chair beside Youji.

Aya busied himself by walking back and forth, eager to know how Ken's condition was. They stayed there in nervous silence for about an hour beside Youji finally caught sight of Ken's doctor walking towards them.

"I'm sorry it's taken so long," she said, coming into the waiting lounge and shutting the glass door behind her. Her movements were smooth and deliberate, her demeanor unwavering as she pulled up a chair opposite the waiting friends of her patient.

"You must be Aya," she smiled, acknowledging the dressing he still wore over his head wound. "Ken keeps asking when he can see you. I'm glad you are here".

"Do you have the test result, Doctor," Aya asked, not really caring if he sounded so impatient. He got the feeling that she was trying to stall talking to them.

"We've got some preliminary result, yes," Miho said, gravely this time. "While it will take some times until we know the full extent and the outcome of Ken's injuries, we know enough now".

"Well?" Youji snapped when she stopped again.

Miho took a deep breath. "The swelling around the spinal cord has subsided enough for us to see the damage. The fractured vertebrae we already knew about were masking the cord injury. But this lastest tests show that Ken's spinal cord has been affected… It's been severed at T5 and 6".

No one said anything for a few second as the news sank in. Omi was frowning. "What does that mean?"

"It means that Ken will be paralyzed from the waist down. I'm sorry".

"But…but…but there's rehabilitation, isn't there? How long will it take for him to gain the movement back?," Youji asked, high-pitched.

"I'm afraid his injuries are classified as complete paraplegia… When the spinal cord is completely severed there's no sensation and no movement regained. Ken's condition is permanent. He won't walk again".

"Oh my God," Omi moaned, his hands covering his face. Youji moved beside him and put his arm around him, sensing that Aya wasn't going to.

Aya just stood numbly in his spot. He understood everything that had been said, but he couldn't feel anything yet. Nothing was sinking in.

"Actually," Miho spoke up again, drawing all attentions in the room to her. "In the Emergency Room when he was first brought in, I had given him a high dose of methylprednisolone. In some case it can give a paraplegic patience his movements back, but the odds are small. In this case, it's almost 100 to one, so… I can't really assure you. What I do know now is, from the tests result, that Ken won't be able to walk again".

"So what happens now?" Youji mumbled. 

"We'll have to operate to repair the fractured vertebrae, inserting a metal plate into Ken's spine to aid bone fusion. We'll be able to take him out of traction, and once his spine is a little stronger, he'll be able to start rehabilitation".

"He'll be in a wheelchair…," Omi whispered, more to himself than to anyone else. 

"The rehabilitation process can be long, but it's necessary to help Ken adjust to his new wheelchair and the new limitations he will have. There are other issues he'll have to learn about and deal with, including the loss of bladder and bowel control. But he should regain full use of both arms with physiotherapy and will learn to be quite mobile without the use of his legs. He's young, so he should adjust well".

Miho noticed that none of them were really taking in what she was saying now. The news was too much of a shock for most people, and it would take a while for them to see the full picture. She didn't want to force the issue -- they would have plenty of time to adjust just like Ken would.

"Does… does he know?," asked Youji.

"I haven't said anything yet… because Ken is a minor I thought one of you might prefer to break it to him instead. Of course I'll be there to answer any question he might has so you won't have to do it alone… "

An uncomfortable silence hanged in the room as Miho waited for a voulenteer.

"I'll do it," Aya said quietly.

Miho nodded at him, relieved that he wasn't going to ask the other boys to come. The emotions were clearly painted across their face and if they broke there, it would just upset Ken more. 

"I'm sure Ken will be glad to meet you. He made me promised I'd let him see you when the tests were done," she smiled encouragingly.

Miho stood up and ushered Aya out of the waiting room. Aya didn't have time to change his mind or question his strength. He took one last look at Omi and Youji and stepped out of the waiting area towards Ken's room.

~ end of part 6 ~


	7. Until The Sun Shines Again 7

Yay, 'tis the next part^^~!! First of all I want to thank one reviewer whose name's lost on me right now ^^;, who told me to watch out and check my spelling and grammar and tenses. Thanx for reminding me about that!! I was soo eager to just post the part and also I was soo lazy to reread and check the grammar and tenses… soo… gomen nasai, everyone!! I'm sorry for the inconvenience it has made… I hope from now on it'll be much better^^~!

And review this, onegai??

:: Part 7 ::

The hospital was eerily quiet as Aya paused before Ken's room in the ICU. He waited a moment, steeling himself for what was to come. His mind suddenly flashed back to the last time he had seen him. He was suddenly afraid that he wouldn't be able to go in and face him again, especially knowing what he did now.

Aya was fearful that despite his usual coldness, he wouldn't be strong enough to hold it together, to pretend that everything was all right and Ken wasn't permanently paralyzed. That was, until the time came to tell Ken the truth. He stood before the door and had to restrain himself from running to the opposite direction.

But then Aya thought about going back home again and withdrawing himself into his darkened apartment. It was there he had spent the last few days, sick with worry that Ken might never be awake. Aya realized that he had to see him again just to allay his own fear that Ken wouldn't make it.

He was there, just on the other side of the door, awake and waiting to see him. He was surprised when a sudden sense of calm enveloped him, and Aya found out he can move again. He *had* to see him, that was all there was to it. After taking a deep breath, he pushed open the door and stepped inside.

From the doorway, Ken didn't look any different than before. His head was still clamped in traction, he was laying stiffly on his back, the bruises on his chest still garish. But Aya barely noticed his appereance this time, nor did he cringe at the sight of so many tubes and machines surrounding him. 

None of it mattered now, because Ken's eyes were open. He could see the brunette blinking as he stared at the monotonous hospital ceilings. He was truly awake and Aya walked to his bedside with a sudden eager rush.

A relief-induced smile lit up his face immediately as Ken heard him approach and turned his gaze upon him. Their eyes met, but neither was able to say anything. Aya choked back the tears of relief and happiness that suddenly threatened to come as Ken scanned the redhead face to make sure he was all right and he wasn't dreaming. Both of them were just thankful the other was still alive after the terrible accident. Words were insufficient to express the relief they were feeling.

"Aya," Ken said after a long silence.

Aya blinked repeatedly to stop the tears welled up in his eyes and he, very gingerly, took Ken's hand in his. He let out a deep breath, not quite sure what to say to the brunette.

"You took your time waking up," he said flatly. "You know there's plenty of works to do back there in the flower shop and Weiß".

Ken closed his eyes and an appreciative smile tugged on his lips. He was afraid Aya would treat him differently after he saw him, but Aya was just being Aya. He couldn't have hoped for anything else.

"I was having the wildest dream," he replied, his voice still scratchy.

"Don't tell me," Aya said, a soft smile on his lips. "You have reached the limit in sharing your wild footie dreams with me. Hidaka Ken saves a penalty kick in a penalty shootout that bring Japan to be the world cup champion?" he said with sarcastic disdain.

Ken grinned. "You know it".

Aya was relieved that Ken could still make jokes despite waking up and finding himself in a hospital. He wasn't quite sure what else he was supposed to do or what to talk to him. He stood a little awkwardly by Ken's bedside, holding his hand in his and trying not to think about the truth he carried in his heart. 

"Are you really okay, Aya?," Ken whispered, interupting his thought. The joking tone had completely disappeared from his voice and Aya could see the apprehension in his eyes.

"I'm fine, just a couple stitches," he replied urgently, when he saw Ken staring worriedly at his bandaged forehead. Aya was overwhelmed that he was still concerned about his safety after all that he had been through. 

Aya didn't think it seemed right that Ken should be giving him second thought while his own predicament was much more serious. But then Aya remembered that Ken hadn't known the full extent of his injuries yet. It pained him that he had to pretend he didn't know either, and he tried his best to banish the thought from his mind.

"Do you remember anything about the accident?," he tried instead, immediately regretting bringing the subject up.

"Beginning to… more than I want to, anyway". Ken glanced away and licked his lips nervously. "Was it… was it my fault? Did I… "

"No!," Aya cried fervently, seeing his anxious expression. "It wasn't you, it was the other driver's fault. Don't ever think for a second that it was your fault".

"I thought maybe I did something wrong. And that you could've… and it was because of me… " He didn't have to finish. Ken was obviously relieved at the news and it broke Aya's heart to think that it was because Ken was afraid he could have been hurt by his action. 

"I'm glad you are awake, Ken," Aya said, squeezing his hand. "You had me scared this past few days".

"Don't worry about me," he smiled weakly. "I'm a trained assassin, I won't lose".

Aya lowered his eyes and nodded, trying not to break for Ken's sake. But with each passing second he could feel the dread rised within him. While he was overcome with gratitude that Ken had survived, the knowledge of his paralysis couldn't be ignored. The dreadful reality of his situation was finally sinking in and Aya knew that his eyes and expression almost couldn't hide the truth they had behind them any longer. He knew that if he stayed in the room any longer, Ken would be able to tell the truth just by looking at him.

Aya felt his courageous melt. He didn't want to be in this room when the doctor told the brunette about the painful truth. He didn't want to see Ken's reaction and expression, he couldn't stand it. Desperate, Aya began to search for something to say so that he could leave.

"Did you talk to the doctor?," Ken murmured almost under his breath.

Aya's face was flooded with fears and his eyes met Ken's. Too late… the shield had been broken now. He had waited too long to leave. Aya opened his mouth, but nothing came out. 

"I'm paralyzed, aren't I?," Ken said calmly, as if commenting on the weather or the day's flower arrangement. When he saw the redhead's surprise and then immediate panic, he only smiled. A small sad smile. "I overheard the radiology staff upstairs".

"Ken, I… " Aya's words caught in his throat and he realized he couldn't deny it to his face. He needed no confirmation, however. His stoic gaze back to the dull white ceiling. 

"It's funny. I knew I couldn't feel my legs, but it wasn't until they actually said the words that I realized".

Aya was waiting for him to become upset, to cry or become angry, but Ken's expression was blank. The resigned way with which he was handling the news was unsettling and made Aya felt even worse.

"I'm sorry, Ken…" he muttered uselessly.

"Guess it could have been worse, right?," he replied half-heartedly, smiling again in order to cheer him up.

Ken's words turned to be portentous when Dr. Suzuki, Youji and Omi chose that time to come in. They were looking at Aya for some signs and Aya stared back at them gravely. His gaze said everything. He knew. 

There was an oppressive silence in the room until Omi started to sobs. He walked to Ken's bedside and stared at him with his tear-filled eyes. "Ken-kun… oh, Ken-kun, I'm…," he then cry and fell into a kneeling position beside the bed. 

"Omi…" Ken said hoarsely. 

Omi sobbed harder. It was hard for him to imagine that the most hyper and full of life member of Weiß would spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair.

Aya turned a bit, trying to avoid the sight as his tears started to well in his eyes. He was so emotional, one feeling he almost never felt since his life was destroyed. He heard Youji made a noise from near the door and Aya turned just in time to see him leaving after muttering an unclear 'sorry'.

"It's okay," Ken said quietly. "It will be okay".

Omi was wiping his tears now, but stayed on his kneeling position beside the bed. Aya stared at the brunette who stared back at him. In his eyes were all the emotions he felt but he didn't show.

Aya took a deep breath and took his place on the other side of the bed. He and Omi remained on Ken's side during the conversations that followed. Miho then took over and explain to Ken what his injuries meant. She remained focused on the positive aspects of the test result -- now that they knew Ken's cervical vertebrae were not affected, they could remove the horseshoe clamp and take him out of traction.

Ken was relieved at the news and Aya saw that despite the medications Ken was on, the clamps screwed into his skull just above his ears were causing him great pain. The fact that he hadn't complained about it made Aya fully understand how brave Ken was. It was difficult to comprehend how he could remain so after what had happened.

There were more talks about the operation to repair the damage of Ken's spine, and mentioned so many unfamiliar medical terms that by the end Aya's head was spinning. Ken and Omi were listening just as intently as Aya to the procedures that were to follow. 

The only sign that Ken was affected by any of it was the occasional weak pressure Aya felt on his hand as Ken reassured himself that the redhead was still there. Ken somehow managed to keep his composure throughout the whole discussion, even when the doctor informed him that he would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

Eventually Miho told them that Ken needed to rest. Aya and Omi felt the same sense of relief at her words. Aya had heard just about all that he could and he really needed to leave before it became too much. Aya waited as Omi squeezed Ken's shoulder before he walked out with the doctor. 

Aya watched them go and then turned to see Ken's eyes on him again. If he had been at a loss of words before, he had absolutely no idea what to say to Ken now.

"Thanks for staying," Ken said, much more reserved now.

Aya felt helpless. "Try and get some rest". He knew it sounded pathetic but it was the first thing that came to his mind. "Will you be alright?"

Aya saw the first sign of fear in the other boy's eyes, but he quickly covered it up. "Told you, I'll be fine".

Aya tried to smile as best as he could and gave him a final squeeze on his shoulder. "I'd better go out of here before the doctor orders me out… Bye, Ken." He broke his gaze with difficulty and started to walk to the door.

Unable to see him anymore because his head couldn't move, Ken found himself suddenly panicked. "Aya?"

Aya rushed back to his side, his face taut with concern. "What's wrong, Ken?"

"Will you… will you come back?," Ken sounded as scared as a child being left alone for the first time.

Aya found it was easier to smile now, and he did so to reassure him. "Aa… I'll be back first thing tomorrow, I promise".

Placated by this knowledge, Ken breathed out a sigh of relief and Aya knew it was alright to leave now. Aya reached out and lightly brushed the bangs on the brunette's forehead. The gentle gesture calmed Ken even more, and he found himself smiled back at Aya.

"I'll see you tomorrow then".

Aya made it out of the room this time, but was suddenly at a loss what to do now. Looking around, he didn't see anyone. The corridor was empty and silent and suddenly Aya felt just as lonely as Ken did. Part of him wanted to go back to the brunette, but he knew it was only for his own comfort, not Ken's. The events of the day were catching up with him, and for the first time Aya was able to let himself feel all the emotion he had been forced to hide in front of Ken. 

The permanency of Ken's injuries, the reaction of Ken himself… all of them hit him at once. Aya felt himself giving into terrible sadness that had been building up inside of him. He couldn't see clearly now, his vision blurried by the tears that hadn't been permitted to fall until now. He couldn't think or feel anything but the desolation in his chest. 

Leaning back to the wall beside Ken's room's door, he finally allowed his tears to fall. And he wept, not caring if someone saw him crying. Wept bitter tears for Ken, for Weiß, for everything that all of them had been through and everything that was to come. And although he didn't realize it at the time, Aya also cried for himself.

~end of part 7~


	8. Until The Sun Shines Again 8

:: Part 8 ::

Aya walked along the quiet hospital corridor towards Ken's room. It had been a week since Ken regained his consciousness, and still his condition hadn't changed. At least, in Aya's opinion, it hadn't and that made him extremely worried inside.

He had always been here in the hospital, visiting him everyday since Ken woke up. Youji and Omi had understood the condition and they willingly offering themselves to take on some parts of Aya's job so that the redhead could visit Ken everyday. It was useless to keep Aya too long in work anyway. His thought would always divert back to the brunette and some of his works laid ignored. 

Aya pushed Ken's room door gently, revealing a nurse who was standing next to the bed, seemingly just finished some check up. The nurse turned to him and smiled gently, "Visiting again?".

That was a retorical question, but Aya nodded anyway. Almost all the nurses appointed to taking care of Ken knew him, although not very well. They'd be expecting him to come visiting at around this hour. 

He walked towards the bed, setting the flowers he brought with him on the small table and stared at the sleeping figure on the bed.

"The doctor had given him some medicine a while ago," she said softly. "He had been sleeping ever since. I just finished checking up his pulse, temperature and blood pressure. I'll be back later to get him some medicine, okay?"

Aya nodded absently, not really acknowledging the nurse as she smiled politely before leaving the room. He pulled a chair and sat near the bed. Staring at his sleeping friend. At him.

It had been almost two weeks since that fateful accident. Two long weeks that passed like eternity. Two weeks of seeing him like this, attached to the bed, not able to do anything.

His heart screaming. He didn't know this boy. No, he didn't know this sleeping boy. He was not Ken, not Ken that Aya knew. His mind refusing to believe, even after all these days, that the boy who was lying powerless there was the hyperactive Ken he knew. 

Ken's eyes was closed, his face was unnaturally pale. It was as if… it was as if he was dead. Aya realized how close he had come to losing Ken. He had never thought about it before. Had never thought that he would lose Ken, had never thought that Ken would leave him.

Had he taken Ken for granted? He was always sure that he would always had Ken by his side, at least as a killing partner. Thinking about it now, he regretted all the mean things he had said and done to Ken. He knew that the brunette was just following his heart, being a naïve and impulsive boy he was. He should've known better…

He looked around the room, then suddenly noticed that almost the whole room was decorated with flowers. Distantly, Aya remembered how the neighbours reaction when they knew what had happened to Ken. Since that, the flower delivery had never ceased to stop, coming over and over and over again everyday. And looking at those cheery, colorful flowers, Aya knew that Ken was so loved by the people.

Wasn't he always? Ken gave love easily and he was easily loved.

And wasn't he himself was one of those people, Aya wondered. One of them who loved the brunette. Like what Youji had once said, to know Ken was to love him. Aya had refused that kind of thought before, had been very sure that he had not need love and hadn't been capable of love. 

But as time went by, he realized that he was drawn too. Drawn to the love the brunette had, and gave up to the urge rising inside of him, the urge to love the brunette. Wasn't it Ken that broke all his defence with his naivety, with his charm?

Aya stared at the sleeping boy. What was it that made Ken so loveable? What was it that made him attracted to the brunette? Was it his naivety? His innocence, his childishness? His tenderness?

In his haste, Aya's hands found it's way to Ken's hand. He caressed it gently before taking it in his hands. He realized that before the accident, he had never hold Ken's hand like this. And now that he was holding it tightly in his hands, he relished the warmth he felt radiating from the brunette's hand.

Ken moaned softly in his sleep and Aya stiffened, afraid of having woken him. But Ken didn't wake. He kept sleeping, his breathing soft and even, deep into his slumber. 

Aya realized how much his affection had grown immensely towards the brunette. And he hadn't told him what he felt. And he wondered, what it felt like to love someone. Wondered what it felt like to be loved by someone.

He didn't know what Ken's feeling towards him was. Ken was always warm and friendly, to him, and to all other people he knew. All his smiles that had been showed towards Aya, Aya didn't really believe it as a reflection of what Ken felt towards him. Because Ken also had that smile for Youji, Omi, the neighbourhood children. For the elderlies, for everyone. 

While Aya believed that his own smiles towards the brunette really reflected what he felt towards Ken.

Three soft knocks on the door and it opened quietly. A nurse, different from the one Aya met when he first came in, walked in, on her hand a tray half filled with the medicines. She smiled tenderly at Aya as she set the tray on the small table near the bed.

"It's time for the medicine," she smiled.

Aya stared at Ken's face. He looked so peaceful, lying there as if everything was okay, as if everything had turning out the way it was supposed to be. 

But if he was woken up… if he was, Aya was sure that the peacefulness would broke, that Ken would have to wake up to face the cruel reality.

The nurse had finished preparing the medicine and was about to wake Ken up when a hand grabbed her hand, stopping her. Startled she looked up and stared at the redhead on the other side of the bed. He was not looking back at her. He was staring at his sleeping friend.

"Fujimiya-kun…"

"Don't…"

"Excuse me?" she asked. She really didn't understand what was going on in the young man's head.

"Don't wake him up. He's still sleeping".

"But he has to have his medicine, Fujimiya-kun," she said gently.

He looked up and stared at him briefly, before staring back at the sleeping boy. "He is… he is having a beautiful dream right now. Don't wake him up".

"Fuji…"

"Look at him," he said softly, his eyes tender. "He looks so peaceful. He must have a very good dream. Don't wake him up…"

"Do you want him to sleep forever?"

"Who wants to wake up if the reality is like this?," he asked, his voice bitter. "If you wake him up, he will have to face the fact that he won't walk again. He would be sad. Who wants to wake up if just to find reality like that?". He paused, his hands softly brushed the bangs from the younger boy forehead. He didn't care what the nurse would think. "It'll be better if he is in his dream. At least he will be happy".

"It is as if you want him dead, Fujimiya-kun," she said. Aya could see her frown as she said those words, even when he didn't look at her.

"Maybe… if that's what's best for him… if it can make him not sad…"

"But don't you think he wants to wake up to see you again?"

Aya looked up suddenly as he heard those words. The nurse was smiling down at him serenely.

"He has come a long way, Fujimiya-kun," she said, her eyes rested gently on the young man's face. "He has fighting really hard to survive the accident, and don't you think that it is because he wants to see you again? Because he doesn't want to leave his friends yet?"

Aya didn't say anything. 

"And in the way I see it, your friend here has a strong will to survive. He has a strong will to live. Up until now, he doesn't show any sign that he is surrendering to his deformity. And I'm sure he is not a quitter. I'm sure he will face the challenge and I'm sure he will win,". She paused and then smiled at Aya. "Don't you think so, Fujimiya-kun? You are his friend afterall, and you know him much better than I do".

"Aa…," he said softly. 'Yes', he thought. 'I know him better than this woman does. How can I have so little faith in him?'.

"Can I wake him up now?" she asked.

"Aa… yes, please," he nodded, still feeling ashamed of himself.

The nurse then turned to Ken, shaking him gently. Aya heard him murmuring something inaudible, before Ken finally open his eyas. "Wha…?" he asked sleepily.

"It's time for your medicine, honey," she said tenderly at him.

"Oh…,". He then turned his gaze and saw Aya staring down at him. "Aya," he smiled sleepily. "Hey".

"Hey, Ken," he smiled back at him, feeling warmth spreading in his heart as he saw the brunette's smile.

The nurse then carefully helped Ken to take on his medicine. After he finished taking it, she left the room, smiling gently at the two young men in the room. Ken smiled back and waved slightly at her while Aya nodded slightly.

"You seem to have a very good sleep back there, Ken," Aya smiled.

"Yeah, it was really nice. It felt so peaceful".

"Hm… I could see it. I almost wanted to let you sleep forever like that".

"Oh no, you can't get rid of me that easily, Aya," Ken laughed lightly. "I have no intention to leave you just yet".

Aya smiled, and he gripped Ken's hand tighter, squeezing it gently with his thumb. "I bet so," he said lightly. "I'm glad you stay, though".

"Yeah, me too".

A comfortable silence hanged in the air between them, before Ken finally broke it.

"You come here everyday, Aya," he smiled.

Aya was suddenly allerted at his words. "Why? Do I bother you?"

"No, no," Ken said quickly, He licked his lips nervously. "I'm glad you come everyday. You have no idea how boring and lonely it is to have no one accompanied you". He paused before continuing. "I just… I just don't want your importances being neglected just because of me…".

"What are you saying, Ken?," he asked, brushing another bang brom his face. "I don't have anything neglected. Don't worry about it".

"That's good," he said. Ken looked so relieved and Aya was sad that the brunette thought that he was a burden for him. "How is Aya-chan doing? Is she getting better?"

Aya felt as if he was struck by a thunder at that question. _How is Aya-chan doing? How was she doing?? He didn't even know! He was struck with the painful reality that in his sadness over the thing that had happened on Ken, he had forgotten his imouto._

_How is Aya-chan doing?_

_ _

And he couldn't even answer that. How was it for an irony? He, the massive sister-complex, had completely forgotten about his imouto. Had forgotten that his imouto also needed him. Had forgotten that on his last visit there her doctor had told him that his imouto had been getting better. He wondered what kind of a brother was he.

Ken frown at Aya sudden silence. "Aya? What's wrong? Is there something bad happened to Aya-chan?"

"Iie… no, I just… she's good, Ken. Don't worry, she's getting better," he tried to smile reassuringly at Ken.

"Ne, Aya, you are lying," Ken said, a matter of factly. "You haven't visited her, have you?"

"I… I…"

"Well, then you have to go visiting her," Ken said. "She needs you more than I do". He paused as Aya stared at him. "Well, uh… literally" he added after an afterthought.

"I will, Ken," Aya smiled. "Don't worry… I just, it's just because I'm a bit off lately".

Ken let out a big yawn and then smiled sheepishly at Aya. "Sorry… I get sleepy really easily lately".

"Maybe it's because the medicines they give you, Ken"

"I know. It's just that lately I feel so tired," he stared at the redhead sleepily. "See, I woke up only a few minutes ago and now I feel sleepy again".

Ken closed his eyes and Aya stared at the brunette's boyish face intently. "Ken…?"

"Hmm mm??," he mumbled sleepily. "It's so boring here, Aya. All I do everyday is sleep, eat, take my medicine, sleep again, eat again, medicine again… I can get *fat*!!".

Aya had to smile at Ken's whine. Here he was lying paralyzed and he was worrying about being fat!

"I feel like I want to do something," Ken continued. "I want to teach soccer ag…" He paused abruptly.

And at that time, for a moment, Aya felt his heart stopped beating too. He looked at Ken. The brunette's mouth was still hanging open slightly, as if about to continue his sentence, but then he closed it, gritting his teeth. Ken closed his eyes tightly and clenched his jaw.

"Ken…"

Ken's eyes snapped open again, his eyes full with something Aya couldn't understand. "I… I mean, I can't wait to get to my wheelchair," he said with false cheerfulness. "It'll be great to move again, ne??"

Aya felt his chest tightened. He knew that Ken was trying to cover up his sadness. He squeezed Ken's hand gently. "Yes, Ken," he whispered hoarsely. "It'll be wonderful".

Ken turned his face away, trying not to let Aya saw his sadness, which he was sure was failing miserably. To not be able to walk again, not able to play soccer again…. Ken felt his eyes stung with tears, but he stubbornly refused the tears to betray him. 

Suddenly he felt so tired. Maybe it was bacuse of the medicine again. Or maybe he just wanted to run away from this bitter reality. "I'm… I'm going to sleep now," he said, averting his gaze back at the redhead. "Would you… would you mind staying here until I fall asleep?"

'I won't go home if you want me to,' Aya thought. "No, Ken," he said. "I don't mind. I'll stay here until you fall asleep".

True to his words, Aya stayed with Ken, even much longer after Ken had been asleep. He hold the brunette's hand tightly, all the way praying to the God he had never really believed in, that everything would eventually be okay.

~end of part 8~


End file.
